oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
