I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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