I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
