If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
