her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
