who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
