I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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