Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
