The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
