Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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