You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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