overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize