His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
