When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
