In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
