did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He shit in the fireplace
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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