Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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