butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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