That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
