I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
