For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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