I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
