A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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