Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize