when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The adults are the big ones right?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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