i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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