There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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