I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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