Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry michellewhen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(917): View more from New York City

I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do

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(661): View more from California

i wish semen tasted like chocolate

Fav 61 8394 1425
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

Fav 8 5141 1182
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(818): View more from California

I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.

Fav 11 3236 995
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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety

Fav 2 1122 657
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service

Fav 1 385 178
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(716): View more from New York

Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...

Fav 0 53 15
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