sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
