North Korea, Best Korea!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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