The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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