There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
