they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
