Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
