Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
