You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
