My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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