addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize