i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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