forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
