you guys were way drunker than both of me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
