im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
