so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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