Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize