she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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