so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
