don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
