i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
