So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This baby is an asshole
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
