This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
