operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize