Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
