This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Fuck appropriateness.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
