i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
