ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
