i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
