do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
