I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
