If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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