you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize