her vagine was all disorganized.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
