I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
