i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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