I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
