hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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