I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
